I recently saw a news story that was extremely fascinating to me.
Based in Tokyo, Japan is a group of men calling themselves ‘Kakuhido’, which folks have translated as ‘The Revolutionary Alliance Of Men Women Find Unattractive’.
You can see this could go either way…a cry for attention from a group of lonely souls merely looking to find true love and wanting…or a misogynistic hodgepodge of impotent frustration turned outwards towards society.
From what I’ve read, the movement is a confusing amalgamation of Marxism, misogyny, loneliness, sexual frustration, and an overarching and entirely valid criticism of the soulless nature of Valentine’s Day.
Valentine’s Day is known as a day of happiness and celebration…for couples. Otherwise, it’s just a reminder to everyone who is alone that they are lacking in some way.
Raging against the ‘romantic industrial complex’ as Kakuhido does makes perfect sense in the context of a thumb in the eye to singles and a commercial boon to chocolate producers and card makers.
Valentine’s Day is after all as commercial a celebration of capitalism and marketing as Christmas, with added insensitivity towards the lives of singles.
However, this specific group takes things to a weird place, in my opinion.
I understand the confusion over rejection and feeling ‘out of the game’ when it comes to romance, but the fact is, our experiences are often limited to what we know.
The perfect women for these men may find it as hard or harder to meet their own significant other. They are also ‘out of the game’. And men reject women too, and there’s a wide range of reasons and nuances to it.
They tend to believe if they don’t ‘land’ a very attractive woman, they are failures and losers, and I am sure they have ignored or not searched for women that would be considered ‘humble’ in the eyes of modern society. Many men would internally and automatically reject them and pay it no mind.
Many men will not admit their own internal dialogue concerning whether a woman is ‘attractive’ enough for them, and believe it’s a one way street. They are either being rejected by an attractive woman, or think nothing is going on. In this way they feel entitled.
But social misfits and candidates for permanent single loneliness exist in both genders, just men tend to be more vocal and visible about it, and after all, ‘attractive’ mates are lauded and advertised throughout society, creating the perception that a man should have an idealised type of woman or none at all.
How about being a better person or presenting yourself as a better partner, rather than saying ‘women find me unattractive, end of story, now it’s time to rage at them’.
My proposal would be simple: have a singles day. Where being single is as lauded and celebrated as couples are on Valentine’s Day. Perhaps those stuck in unhappy relationships and trying to convince themselves of something otherwise might feel jealous instead.
It might not be as prestigious as Valentine’s Day, but it would certainly help the rest of humanity feel slightly less bummed out and dejected. How it would be marketed might be a challenge for our corporations, but I’m sure they’d figure something out.
The solution to these things is not to start hating someone else, least of all an entire gender, and I don’t blame men or women for getting caught up in this mangled mess of a culture we have created around ideas of success and attractiveness.
Indeed, that’s the rub of Valentine’s Day, when you are part of a couple, you are pressured to take part, and when you are alone, it shoves the loneliness in your face.
As usual, I blame society and the way we do things. The way we believe we should be and how it is constantly reinforced through the images and concepts advertising crams into our brains.
So Kakuhido…I’ll just say it’s an interesting concept with a valid point to make that is clouded by the hurt feelings of it’s members.
With a better presentation and perhaps focusing on the cynicism of our culture instead of the badness of women, it might be a compelling movement.
And anyways, we’re all losers in the face of the cosmos.Here's my social media! Support and follow. 🙂